a walk in the wind

day two with no title...okay then.

the title of my post would have been "not such a heartless bitch".

as i have mentioned before, i have a "sister-slave". i put in in quotes because she and i really have little to no interactions with each other...in truth, we don't seem to get along well. storm says we may never get along....and i'm okay with that.

it's not really anything against her...we just seem to clash. we're two women who are very important to storm and i think our egos tend to get in the way.

but here's why i'm not jealous of her, despite what others might think: storm finds so much joy in being her Master and she in being his slave. they are kinky...her blog was one of those hard core blogs i would read with my hand over my mouth in amazement of the kink levels...

i decided not to read her blog after realizing that their lifestyle is completely different than mine with storm. they do things together that i really have no interest in doing. and i realized that it didn't take anything away from me. storm loves me for me, and i love him for him. and i felt they needed their own space...they needed a place to be themselves on that level...

whenever i tried to push past my kink level, it wouldn't work. it didn't come natural to me.i would be damn near faking my interest and storm would just hold back.

and then he found a woman he didn't have to hold back on...he found a woman who could take him...in all his glory. and i envied that. i almost wished i could be that woman....BUT it's not me.

and that thought was a painful one...it's taken me a while to become okay with that....but storm helped with that....he opened up and told me a little story...and at the same time i was listening to his story, two things occured to me: 1) i could NEVER do that and 2) he had so much joy in telling me.

his joy came from two places, he really enjoyed her and he really enjoyed him being able to be open with me....and so all i could reply was "i'm so glad you found a woman you can do that with!!!"

i always thought i could never deny storm anything, and i'm glad to find out that i was right...i want him to be happy, i want him to be fullfilled....

it just so happens it takes two of us, that's all.

the reason this came about was that, the two of them have ended things...however, i don't think it's over. i can't imagine her able to walk away from him....not just because she likes the lifestyle, but because once storm fullfills your fantasy, you can't go back to the real world and not feel like a piece of your soul is missing.

i don't know if she's reading this....but i'm sorry for her pain. i truly feel for her.

being with storm takes a bit of sacrifice...you never quite fit in the normal world afterwards...but who wants to be normal anyways?